Mom Song

http://vimeo.com/1509073

Get up now, brush your teeth, comb your sleepy head!  Ya gotta love it!

Blessed Mother that I am...

I had a rough day. Spent most of the day in bed with a stomach flu that left me weak, shaky, headachey, and nauseated. Not much energy to do anything. I slept, I read, I sipped tea.

Later on in the day I found the energy to drag myself to the couch, where I watched "Davy Crockett and the River Pirates" and "The Rescuers" with my children.

I really hate days like this. My "Type-A" Personality makes me want to accomplish something every day, and I don't like to be in a position where I don't get anything crossed off my never-ending, ever-growing list of things to do. However, I do know that God at times chooses to slow me down and give me a reminder that the world will go on without me. Today was one of those days.

I was about to head to bed when my dear Linda told me that she linked to my blog and added a quote from Tertullian. I had to check it out!

Linda's post, Reflecting at Easter-time, blessed my heart. My daughter is a woman after God's own heart. She is creative, gentle, intelligent and articulate. Most of all, she loves the Lord with all of her heart, soul, mind and strength. She is passionate about justice and gets angry with fools, and on top of that she has the greatest sense of humour! She is the family's "official jester", as appointed by her oldest sister.

So, I don't have anything to say tonight, except this: I am blessed. Go read Linda's post to see why.

Difficult Days

We all have them. Days that seem to have one trouble after another. It is a reminder that we live in a sin-cursed world, and that this world is not our home. We don't want to get too comfortable here, because we are just sojourners, on our way to our true home...the one that really matters.

Yesterday our old dog, Fatty, began having seizures. He was lying on the floor, stretched out, neck extended, and his legs were "running". About two minutes later, he stopped seizing. He began to look about, but was obviously disoriented and very upset. He wanted to be comforted, and he pressed himself against his people, I think just to know he wasn't alone.

He had another couple of seizures this morning. I called the vet and made arrangements to get him put to sleep. After all, he's an old dog, and any kind of investigation would be very costly. It doesn't make much sense to invest hundreds of dollars into the old guy, especially with an engine to pay for.

Rick, too, was feeling rather poorly yesterday. He just felt "blah", he said. He looked gray. Couldn't eat. Felt an odd feeling in his chest. I finally asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital, and he agreed.

The doc, after running tests, said that his heart was fine. However, his blood sugar is highish...enough to be a concern. "Go see your family doctor," he urged.

So, this morning I made two appointments. One for Fatty to be put down at the vet; the other for Rick to get his blood sugar re-tested.

All the kids were upset. Tiana was tearful about the dog. "Maybe he'll be alright," she hoped. But I told her that Fatty would likely not get better. She said, "Poor Fatty and Poor Daddy...both of them have to go and get put down."

"What?!!?" I asked her, shocked that she would say that.

"I'm just kidding," she said. She had a lopsided grin on her face. I was thankful that my little girl could find some humour on a very trying day.

Rick went to bed and slept the morning away. The kids went off to piano lessons. When they got home, they went outside to play for a while, then Tiana came to the door. "Mom! Fatty's fine! He's playing! I don't think we have to take him for his appointment."

I looked at our old dog in disbelief. He was running with the other dogs and the children, jumping through the snow, tail wagging. He seemed to have most of his balance back, although we can see a little imbalance once in a while.

So I phoned the vet and cancelled. I woke Rick up and took him to the doctor. More bloodtests were done, and we go back for the results next week.

I don't know what the future holds. Fatty could die tonight. Rick could end up with diabetes. We just do not know what lies ahead.

But as I chatted with my 11 year old daughter, I realized that it's all okay. God has a plan for all these trials. Tiana told me that she prayed last night for Fatty and for Daddy. She told me that she believed that God heard and answered her prayers. She also said that she knows that God could still say no... that Fatty could get sick and die; or that Daddy could get sick, too. But she also knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is good, and that He would never allow anything to happen that wasn't in His plan.

What a blessing it is for me to know that God has heard MY prayers. My children are growing in grace, and in the knowledge of the Lord. They have gone through many trials this past few months, but have not reacted in bitterness or anger or resentment. They have grown in faith.

And for that, I praise and glorify our Beautiful God.

'As Charles Spurgeon once said, "There are two great certainties about things that shall come to pass-- one is that God knows, and the other is that we do not know." It is true that we do not know all the truth about the future, but we do know the truth. It is the truth that abides within us, the truth that sanctifies us, the truth that makes us free, the truth that ensures our future. And although we don't know the future, we know the One who sovereignly holds the future.' ~ Burk Parsons

On my last nerve...

Shopping with a bunch of kids is stressful at best. Mom has to remember everything, plus keep everyone in line, safe, and sound. Not an easy task.

I remember clearly one day about 20 years ago, when Jared was five. We had a big old Town and Country Station wagon, with the extra seat in the very back, facing the rear. How I was able to get 7 kids and all the groceries into the car, I can't remember. But I do remember the day my son tested my patience and got on my very last nerve.

I was a careful shopper. I read the flyers and planned my strategy before we left our home in the country. It was a 25 minute drive to the part of the city I shopped in. I would go to the health food store first, to get bulk food, then to Valdi's - a no-frills, no fresh produce kind of store. Every time we all piled into the station wagon, I'd look in the mirror, checking to see if all were present and accounted for. "Everybody got a seatbelt?" I'd ask. "Yes!", they'd chorus. Then, I'd do the roll call, and we were off.

On this particular day, I fed baby Linda and got them all into the car. When I asked, "Does everyone have his seatbelt on?" I was assured that, yes, they did. A few minutes down the road, I noticed Jared standing up.

"How are you standing up, Jay, if your seatbelt is on?"

Gulp...caught in the act. I hollered at him, reminding him how unsafe it was to not wear a seatbelt, and how he'd lied to his mom, and so on. He knew he was in big trouble.

Next stop, the health food store. "Jared, don't sample the raisins." "Jared, stay close." "Jared, don't touch that gum on the sidewalk. It's gross. It's full of germs. You'll get sick if you eat it. It's disgusting." The list went on, and Jared just kept on ticking, just like the energizer bunny. I was getting more and more frustrated with him. He seemed to take it all in stride.

Back in the car...to Valdi's. Remind the kids of the rules. "Don't touch anything. Stay close. Adeena, you push a cart, and I will push the other one. Where's your brother?"

We rounded them all up and headed into the store. Down one aisle we trotted, picking the necessary items off the stacks and putting them in the carts. Next thing I know, we're missing Jared. One of the bigger kids stays with the littles, and Adeena and I go looking.

I find Jared sitting between two boxes, hiding, chewing gum. I retch, then inquire, "Where'd you get that?" He looks at me with a blank stare, saying nothing. I KNOW he's picked it up off the floor, or found it stuck on a cart somewhere. I demand he spits it into my hand, then make him stay right by me, holding onto my cart the rest of the time we're in the store. I stay civil because we are in a public place, but inside I'm fuming.

We load all of the groceries into the car (piled on the kids, by their feet, between them on the seats, and so on). When the kids are all in, and all seatbelts are attached, I begin to lecture my firstborn son. "Don't you know how many germs are in a person's mouth? When you chew gum that has been in someone else's mouth, you put all of those germs into your own body? That's disgusting, Jared!"

The lecture continued most of the way home. I told Jared that he was not allowed to help with the groceries, because he had been too disobedient that day. He was to go right upstairs, and I would be up to deal with him later.

We hauled in the boxes and bags, and put everything away. Just as we were finishing that monumental task, I heard a strange noise. "Hmmmmm, what was that?" I wondered. Something wasn't right. I looked around the kitchen, and caught some movement out of the corner of my eye.

Jared was under the table, gobbling a banana.

It's a wonder I didn't kill him.

I took a big breath, and reached under the table. He tried to avoid me, but I was quick. I marched him upstairs, praying for wisdom as we went. "How would I get through to this child?" I wondered.

I am glad to report that Jared survived the night. He learned that mom meant business, and that mom was to be obeyed. He learned that there are GERMS in used gum, and that he wasn't ever to touch it or put it in his mouth. He also learned that I loved him, when I was finished disciplining him, and I took him in my arms and told him how very, very important he was to me.

The reason I am thinking about that episode in my life as a parent is that today, my daughter phoned me to tell me, "Mom, I have a Jared!" She had a wonderful Valentine's meal planned and prepared for her family, along with a delicious, chocolaty dessert. When her husband arrived home, the family was visiting in the living room before supper time, and they heard a strange sound. When Daddy went to investigate, there was 2 year old Stewie under the table, hands full of chocolaty goodness!

Jared is now 25, and has grown to the height of 6 feet, 7 inches. I guess all that dirty gum didn't hurt him, after all. And in spite of all his disobedience as a young fellow, Jared is a fine man, with a generous spirit and a good heart. He loves the Lord and his family, and we love him!

Be not weary in well doing, parents, for in due season you will reap what you sow, if you faint not!

Serving the Lord - Reasonable Service.

I remember all too well how I "served the Lord" as a young mother by rising early each morning and dragging my three little ones out of bed to drive 25 minutes to our church/school so I could drop off my children in daycare and drive the Christian School bus (for free - they never paid me) to pick up the children to go to the Christian school. I would pop into the daycare and nurse my baby, then work in the library Monday to Friday, cataloging books and assisting teachers (not being paid). Then I would jump in the bus and do the hour-long run again, then pick up my poor children and head home. I was EXHAUSTED, but I thought I was "serving the Lord". My intentions were good, but I didn't know the Bible very well. I was a baby Christian, and I thought the sacrificial service was what God required of me.

But God is so gracious. He was gracious enough to give me a massive breast infection. I was so sick and so sore, I couldn't move off of my bed. I called out to God in my pain, then read in Timothy, "I would that the younger women marry, bear children, and guide the house."

I wasn't guiding the house. I had married at a young age (18) and I had borne three beautiful children, but I was away all day, Monday to Friday, and someone else was raising them.

The day I finally learned that I should be home honestly felt like Jesus sat at the end of my bed and explained it to me. I listened, and I understood for the first time that my place was to be in the home, caring for my children and my husband. Not long after that Epiphany, we moved, and I told the leaders in the church that I would no longer be driving the school bus or working in the library. You would have thought I had blasphemed, or murdered a child, or worse.

The leaders (pastors, deacons, associate pastors) should have told me, a young Christian mother, that my place was in the home, and that it was a high calling to be a keeper at home. Instead I was made to feel guilty for wanting to do what God had called me to do.

Thankfully, my husband was stubborn enough that when he heard my explanation and caught the vision of me being home and keeping my home, he stated adamantly that his wife would be remaining at home. They found someone else to do the jobs and I stayed at home with my children.

Blessed mother and wife that I am, I remained at home for the next 25 years. Most of you know that I did go out and work part time (two days per week) for a ministry near and dear to my heart. My homeschooling children were 17, 15, 13, 11, 9 and 6, and I thought that the older ones were capable and skilled enough to run the home while I was gone.

It did NOT work. I knew after a few months, but when I approached those in charge to ask if I could cut back to one day a week, or work from home, I was told that I was NEEDED, and that they could not get along without me. I tried again, a few months later. Finally, my stress level was so high that I was not sleeping at night. I felt guilty. I was neglecting my children, and I knew it, and they knew it. But no matter how much I pleaded with God and mentioned to others that my desire was to be home, nothing changed.

Until exactly one year ago, tomorrow. That Thursday night I was on my way home, having worked my two days. I had a trunk full of groceries because it was my habit to stop for groceries on the way home, thus eliminating another day away from my family. I was only about 15 minutes from home when an elderly man made a terrible mistake and turned right without looking, into MY lane.

You can read about the accident, here: http://grannymom.blogspot.com/2007/02/no-accident.html

And you can rejoice with me, that God's mercies never fail. He used the accident to shake my world and to make me examine my priorities. He used the accident to make me unable to continue driving to work and sitting at a computer. He used the accident to bless our family abundantly.

Ladies, the leadership of your churches is not always right. Read the Word. Examine your heart before God. Remember, Jesus said that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I work just as hard here at home as I did when I worked away, yet I delight in my work and take joy in my tasks. I enjoyed my work at the ministry, too, but my stomach was always in knots and I felt torn. I had at the back of my mind a running list of questions: "Are the kids alright? Are they doing their schoolwork? Did they remember to feed the animals? Did they take something out of the freezer for supper? Are they getting along?"

The biggest confirmation I have that I am right to stay home is when my six foot tall son gathers me into his arms and tells me, "It's not the same when you're not home, Mommy! I am so glad you aren't going out to work any more."

And I'm glad, too!

In Christ,
Janet

Just a day...

I got up early and rushed out the door, heading for a meeting. That would have been fine, except that for some strange reason, I got very little sleep last night. The water softener went through its cycle, making a terrible racket. Rick assured me that this sound was normal, but I couldn't get to sleep. Then, I woke up too early, well before the alarm went off. Instead of a meeting, I ended up working on some computer stuff, helping to get a newsletter finished and sent out. I would have rather have been home.

The one thing that was a treat was working on a fast computer with a high-speed connection. My incredibly slow dial-up is a constant source of irritation to me. It is so frustrating to try to download a file, as I have been trying to do for two days, only to have it get to page seven out of twenty-five, and quit.

So, what did I learn today? (What character traits am I working on?)

I learned that in order to do your best, you have to get a good night's sleep. (Discipline - especially in scheduling.)

I learned that it is annoying to be told things you already know. (Patience)

I learned that in order to do a good job at anything it is essential to have the right tools. (Wisdom.)

I learned that home truly is where my heart is. (Contentment.)

I learned that even though my high-speed is going to be a long time coming, I will enjoy it even more when it finally arrives, having endured this S - L - O - W speed for so long. (Anticipation.)

I learned that I am lacking in discipline, patience, wisdom, contentment, and anticipation. My heart is deceitful above all things, and I want to order my world. When things don't go the way I want them to, I get depressed, angry, frustrated, whiny, and miserable.

Thankfully, I have a wonderfully patient husband and loving children who welcomed me home, listened to me, and took care of me. They brought me my supper and gave me kisses and tea. They even tried to help me download the file I want (to no avail).

It's good to be home.

Song for a Little House by Christopher Morley

I'm glad our house is a little house,
Not too tall nor too wide;
I'm glad the hovering butterflies
Feel free to come inside.

Our little hose is a friendly house,
It is not shy or vain;
It gossips with the talking trees
And makes friends with the rain.

And quick leaves cast a shimmer of green
Against our whited walls,
And in the phlox the courteous bees
Are paying duty calls.

I am glad that I live in this little old house, with my family close by to love me.

For mother-love and father-care,
For brothers strong and sisters fair,
For love at home and work each day,
For guidance lest we go astray,
Father in heaven, we thank thee.


Most of all, I am glad that God in His wisdom and Providence made me a wife and a mother.

Only One Mother by George Cooper

Hundreds of stars in the pretty sky,
Hundreds of shells on the shores together,
Hundreds of birds that go singing by,
Hundreds of lambs in the sunny weather.

Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.

Thank You, Lord.

Well on my way! (an ordinary day)

I had a great day today! I got up and read the entire paper, waiting for the rest of the family to stir from their beds. We've had a lot of late nights, lately, so early risings aren't happening at the present - except for ME. I am definitely a morning person. Sleeping in just isn't an option. If the sun doesn't peek in, I just know in my bones that it is morning, and if I roll over to try to go back to sleep for a few more minutes, it is just frustrating. Sleep doesn' t come, and I am wasting time.

Reading the paper all alone with a good cup of tea is not a waste of time, however. I read articles about Saddam Hussein, about Gerald Ford, about the new Archbishop in the Catholic church in Canada. I read lots of articles that I flagged to discuss with the children later. I skipped the sports section with nary a twinge, and enjoyed the puzzles and the comics, and even read "Dear Abby".

After that, I read the Bible. I am working through the Bible Chronologically (see this site: http://bibleplan.org/ ) this year. My 7 year old son, Critter, came in and sat on my lap while we read about the Flood and the animals and Noah and the long lives of the Antediluvian patriarchs. I was interested in the fact that there is a parallel genealogy - the line of Cain contrasted with the line of Seth. Critter and I talked about what we read and about how God has always preserved His people, since the beginning. We talked about God's power over the animals - He sent them to Noah - and over Nature - He opened the floodgates! We talked about the sheer size of the ark, and about God's protection of Noah and his family. Tiana (10) was up by then, and discussed the Sabbath Day with me. She had read about God resting on the Sabbath day, and thought that Sunday was the Sabbath. It's nice to know that she is thinking while she is reading her Bible.

The sun was shining and beckoning to us to come outside, so out we went for a brisk walk to the corner and back. It was a good start to my exercise program. I added weight work on the machine tonight, and I feel like I am on my way to better health and a slimmer me.

Rick and I had banking to do, then I did housework while the children mucked out the stalls and did some yard work and laundry. I then ran errands, made supper (Prime Rib roast, mashed potatotes, mixed vegetables, with a small glass of red wine) and enjoyed Bible time with the family.

All in all, a fine day. I think the fact that the sun was shining has encouraged me to no end. The fact that I set some goals for a more spiritually focussed life, as well as a healthier body, has also encouraged me.

This truly is the day the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Birthday Bash! and Sarah's Covenant.

Yesterday, we invited the family to come to Heather's house for a celebration of Rick's 54th and Sarah's 19th birthdays. We convinced my eldest daughter, Adeena, that we were planning to celebrate her 30th birthday on Labour Day weekend. Little did she know that we were hatching a devious plot...

When Adeena's husband Jeff turned 30, Adeena planned an "Elvis" party for him. Jeff *hates* Elvis - doesn't like his songs, never watched his movies - just wasn't interested. So, we surprised him with a party which included Elvis posters, Elvis clock, Elvis bulletin board, Elvis calendar, etc. Elvis was singing in the background the entire evening.

Jeff thought it was great fun, but he was wanting to return the favour for Adeena's 30th party. Adeena has always hated spiders, so we planned a spider party.

I went to the dollar store and was able to get all kinds of spiders! We hung 36 mini-webs with black spiders all around Heather's shop. We hung a great web over the door, so guests would have to go through the webbing to get in. We had a HUGE spider sitting in that web, at least 7 inches in diameter. There was a web with a tarantula on the tree and one on the door, and the "piece de resistance" was the 8 foot spider hanging from the ceiling!!

Aunt Sandra made two salads, and she fashioned a red spider from a red pepper and a black spider from a black plum to sit atop the salads!

Adeena walked in, and she realized what was going on immediately. It was fun to tease her about being thirty, and she really didn't mind all of the spiders, because she knew they weren't alive. Now, if I had had real spiders all over the place, I doubt she would have stayed!

Heather and Steve have a great yard, perfect for children to run and play safely. They have a sandbox and a swing and slides, and a cement pad for riding toys. The adults were able to relax and visit while the kids played with minimum supervision in the fenced in yard.

'Twas a lovely day.

The most emotional part of the day, for me, was watching my husband give Sarah her Purity Promise Ring. I bought her a heart shaped ring made of white gold, with a small diamond in the corner of the heart. Rick told her that if she accepted the ring, she was entering into a covenant with her father, to remain pure until her wedding day.

We made a certificate:

This is to confirm that on this date, August 21, 2005,
Sarah Kathleen Billson
entered into covenant in the presence of family and friends,
to follow the commandments of God
to remain pure in body, mind, and spirit.

A ring was presented as a token of this promise, to be worn until marriage.

The ring, chosen by her parents, has special symbolism.
The heart represents Sarah's heart,
which she is giving to her father for safekeeping.
The diamond represents Sarah's first kiss,
which she is covenanting to keep until her wedding day.

It was signed by Sarah and her father, witnessed by her mother.

Sarah loves her ring! She gladly gave her assent to the covenant, because her heart's desire is to remain pure, so she can be presented a spotless bride to her husband, if the Lord chooses to give her one.

What a blessed day it was!

This is the day that the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it!

God's Providence

Parenting rebellious or wayward children is one of the most difficult things God calls us to do. I know. I am the mother of a couple of girls who turned their backs on all they had been taught, and strove to find life in relationships rather than in Christ.

I am here to remind parents that even when their precious children are in the throes of wicked, rebellious behaviour, God is still in control!

I wrote to one such mom:

"God is still in control. He has ordered your daughter's steps. She has lessons to learn that she can only learn while in rebellion, perhaps. It is easy for a parent to despair when their child does things that are contrary to everything they have taught, but you must learn to step back and see the big picture.

Look at the story of Esther. If I were Esther's mom, would I thinkthat it was a good thing for my daughter to be taken into a *harem*??? Would I think that her marriage to a pagan, brutal king was something to celebrate?Yet God was ordering her steps for a purpose.

God, in His perfect providence, gave Esther beauty above all of the other women. God caused the heart of the king to turn towards her. Mordecai, her uncle, "just happened" to be sitting in the gates and "just happened"to overhear a plot to kill the king, and was able to tell his niece,who just happened to be in a position to warn the king.When the king couldn't sleep, and asked for the record to be read tohim, his servant just happened to read the story relating to Mordecai.When the king decided to honour Mordecai, wicked Haman just happened to be in the court. The king just happened to decide to ask Haman what kind of honour should be bestowed on a man the king delights to honour!

Later, when Esther pointed out that wicked Haman was the one who planned to kill her and all her people, the king left the room in a fury. He just happened to come back in just as Haman had just happened to lose his balance and land on the Queen!

Read the book of Esther, and marvel at the Providence of God! Then remember that God is the same; He never changes. He is ordering the steps of your daughter, just as He has ordered all of your steps, all of my steps...and all for the good of those who love Him, of those who are the called according to His purpose!

We have gone through some very difficult trials with our older daughters, but I am here to tell you that God has blessed tremendously. He really does restore the years the locusts have eaten away. Christians who rebel and are led to repentance understand more of God's mercy and more of His grace. They stand in awe...Who is a Pardoning God like thee??? Or who has grace so rich and free?

Lord, thank You that You are in control. Thank You that nothing ever surprises You, and that You are always working in the hearts of the kings and the peasants, in order to bring what You have planned to fruition. You are a trustworthy Father, and all those who put their trust in You shall be kept safe.

Lord, You know the way that I take. You also know the path my children will walk on. I pray that You will lead them in an upright and godly path. I pray that You will pour out grace on their lives, and that each one will marry a godly spouse and raise up children that will shine like stars in the universe.

If any of my loved ones rebel, chastise them and bring them back, according to Your great mercy. Thank You that when they see the light, they will also see more of Your amazing grace. Your mercy endures forever!

In Christ,
Janet