Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Prairie Muffin

I am finally admitting publically to the world that I am, indeed, a Prairie Muffin, as defined in the "Prairie Muffin Manifesto" (see link on sidebar).

I enjoy Carmon Friedrich's wit and wisdom, as well as her transparency. I can agree with the Prairie Muffin Manifesto, and I plan to read it from time to time to remind myself of my high calling to be a wife, a mother, and a keeper at home.

To my shame, I have to admit that just yesterday, I did not conform to tenet #10) Prairie Muffins are patient and forbearing, not responding rashly to slights, perceived or real.

My dear husband has been under a lot of stress lately (God is definitely squeezing him to see what comes out!) Normally, Rick is patient, steadfast, slow to anger, and kind, but with trucks breaking down and drivers putting them in ditches, and with dealing with unreasonable people on a day-to-day basis, my normally steady husband's fuse has been uncharacteristically short. He has become impatient with me.

I don't like it. I take it personally. And instead of going to my dear Lord and pouring out my heart in prayer, I am pouty and angry and I respond rashly. Sigh.

Here I am, a Titus 2 woman, who desires to teach women younger than me, and wants to be a good example of godliness to my children -- and I waste precious time being a grouch because my dh raised his voice at me.

Thankfully, I am not alone. Carmon, bless her heart, shared a moment of weakness in her own life. http://buriedtreasurebooks.com/weblog/?p=1530 In her confession she quoted the following two verses:

A soft answer turneth away wrath. When Rick raises his voice, I can react by being hurt and pouting, or I can respond softly, with grace. I know he loves me, and his behaviour is certainly excusable when I consider all that he is going through. I ought to pray for him, and love him, and be patient with him.

God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. My anger and wrong responses only make me feel terrible. I know God is resisting me as I grieve the Holy Spirit; yet when I confess my pride and ask forgiveness, God pours out His grace on my life.

So, this Prairie Muffin still has a lot to learn. I am glad that God isn't finished with me yet, and that He uses me to bless others, even though He knows every single thing about me that is ugly. He chose to love ME - Oh, what grace.

Lord, pour out Your grace, again, on me. I need You every hour. And when I fall into sin, again and again, keep on resisting me, so that I realize I have nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, no One to turn to, but YOU. Thank you that when I come to You in repentance, You are always gracious to forgive and restore. You take the dark cloud that is hanging over me, and replace it with the sunshine of Your love.

Thank You, Lord Jesus, My Saviour and Friend.

In Your name, I pray. Amen.