Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Dealing with Labour - My response to Amy.

Amy wrote in Amy's Humble Musings, "In this way, it is possible that two people can perform the same action and one is sin and the other is not. If I end my fertility because I am afraid of labor, it is much different than ending it to receive cancer treatments. One decision is made in fear and the other in faith.

The other problem with this scenario is that life is too cruel to allow a person to escape a trial that easily. If it is not one thing, it will be another. Better to face it head on and say once and for all, “I fear God and Him only.”"

Amy, THIS was an interesting comment. I’ll get to it in a minute.

As you may remember, I am the mother of 12 children. My pregnancies weren’t easy, and my deliveries were all different. The first was a 19 hour marathon, with all of the typical hazards of giving birth in a hospital in the 70’s: shave prep, enema, vomiting through transition, episiotomy, etc. I was blessed to have taken a “Lamaze Method of Natural Childbirth” class, and I honestly believe that knowing as much as I did helped me to cope. My 8 lb baby was beautiful and alert, and I was exhilarated to have accomplished the feat.

Subsequent deliveries were progressively shorter until I settled into a pattern of about three hours of very hard labour. I dreaded the whole thing - both the labour and the delivery. However, I put my trust in the living God, knowing full well that it was HE that had blessed us, and that He would be with me, no matter what.

The sixth baby was three weeks overdue. I had to be induced. She was sick for a week, on iv… not a lot of fun. Seventh was similar, though only 10 days overdue. Doctor induced me, and I experienced the worst pain of my life. The contractions started suddenly, stayed unremittingly, and ended with the birth of a 10 and a half pound baby girl 55 minutes later. I prayed that God would take my life. I didn’t think any human being could endure such pain without a heart attack. Apparently, I was wrong.

The 8th was a placenta previa pregnancy. I would have to have a C-section. Blessed thought! I really was relieved that I would not have to experience the pain of labour and delivery. The C-section wasn’t all that bad, but the fact that my baby nearly died made me think that I could, in fact, go through another delivery, if the Lord would choose.

My ninth was actually not that bad, until he got stuck at the shoulders. The tenth was fine (painful, but endurable), and the Lord sustained me with the 23rd Psalm. I was blessed to have a picture of a person walking through deep woods on the wall, and I meditated on “yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me…”. After baby #10 was born, my placenta broke and I retained half of it, nearly bleeding out. After watching the docs pump blood into me with a blood pressure cuff around the bag to pump it in quicker, I knew that my survival was in the hands of God. I felt great peace, and was actually surprised when I woke up from surgery, alive.

During the eleventh pregnancy, I absolutely dreaded the pain. I wasn’t afraid to die, but was dreading the whole experience. I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. I told my husband how much I feared the delivery, and he prayed, too. My eleventh delivery was by far the best: I had contractions three minutes apart, with a real break between (unheard of…with all the previous labours, the tightness and pain never let up, but with this one, my uterus completely relaxed between contractions!!). This continued right through delivery. It was amazing. Three hours start to finish, and a 9 and a half pound baby, with all of that time to relax between contractions! Wow! If all labours could only be that good. Let it give you hope for the next one, Amy. My eleventh was the very best one!

I lost the 12th pregnancy with a miscarriage at 13 weeks. My 12th baby was born via C-section, due to another placenta previa.

Now we get to your comment:

"In this way, it is possible that two people can perform the same action and one is sin and the other is not. If I end my fertility because I am afraid of labor, it is much different than ending it to receive cancer treatments. One decision is made in fear and the other in faith."

We made the decision to end my fertility after all of the pregnancies, deliveries and complications. I was 44, and just didn’t have the energy ( some would say faith!) to go through it again. You can not imagine how many well-meaning Christians rebuked me for my lack of faith.

To be truthful, I do believe the decision was made with both fear and faith in mind. My husband chose life, my life. He felt none of the angst that I experienced after our decision. I did fear the thought of going through that all over again. I didn’t want to be separated from my children for months at a time again. Twice was enough.

You also wrote:

"The other problem with this scenario is that life is too cruel to allow a person to escape a trial that easily. If it is not one thing, it will be another. Better to face it head on and say once and for all, “I fear God and Him only.” "

Amy, I can hear Elisabeth Elliot in these sentences. I agree that it is better to face the trials of life head-on. God gives grace. He really does. He gives the grace to endure the pain of childbirth, and he gives the grace to endure the rebuke and judgment of others. He is Sovereign. All things really do work together for good to those who love Him, to those who have been called to be His children.

I believe that your experiences have been used of the Lord. You have written so candidly, and countless women have been encouraged and blessed by your honest sharing…even when you were sharing the confusion you felt when you suffered so much.

I would recommend that you consider writing a book in response to “Supernatural Childbirth”. Of course, you’ll have to do so in your spare time. :biggrin_wp:

Blessings,
Janet