Marriage, Responsibility, and the Fall

In Biblical Theology class today, we were going through the three Creation Ordinances: Sabbath, Marriage, Work (Rule/Reign). I got pondering what Pastor Bob said about Marriage Principles, the Responsibility of Adam as the Covenant Head, and the subsequent Fall.

There are Seven Christian Marriage Principles found in Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

1. Celebration of Compatibility.
Both marriage partners are image bearers, made in the image of God (imago Dei), so they were spiritually and emotionally compatible. Eve wasn't a dog or a horse - but was very similar to Adam, because God made the woman out of the rib of the man. This means their flesh was perfectly compatible, physically.

2. Celebration of Companionship.
It was not good for the man to be alone. The animals couldn't talk, or share their feelings or hopes or dreams or desires. Adam needed someone to share his vision, to come alongside of him as his companion.

3. Celebration of God's Precious Gift.
Just as a father walks his daughter down the aisle, giving her to her groom, God brought Eve to Adam as a most precious gift. Adam's reaction was joy! Finally, someone to share his life with.

4. Celebration of Covenant Headship. (vs. 24)
In marriage, the wife leaves her father's headship (including his provision and protection) and comes under her husband's headship.

5. Celebration of Cleaving.
Just like two lumps of clay that are molded together and left to dry in the sun, the husband and wife are to cleave to each other. If you try to separate that dried lump of clay, it crumbles and is destroyed. Marriage is to be a cleaving together of two separate people. As a soldier without his sword will die in the midst of battle, so a husband without his wife is without strength.

6. Celebration of Completely One!
One in heart, one in vision, one in purpose - the husband and wife become one flesh. This is more than physical oneness. Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed - completely vulnerable, honest with each other, without secrets.

We are not told in the account how long Adam and Eve were married before the Serpent (Satan) came along, intending to destroy. The Bible makes it clear that Adam fell, Adam sinned, that he transgressed the law, and so on. Eve certainly was deceived.

2 Corinthians 11:3 But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

1 Timothy 2:13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.


Eve was the one who reached out and took of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and she gave some to Adam, who was with her.

We don't know if Adam was there the whole time, or if he happened on the scene. But it is clear that God holds him responsible as the Covenant Head.

In pondering this, I realized that both of them failed in their role as a marriage partner. As soon as Eve heard the snake talking, she should have run to her husband, her protector, to let him know that the garden had been invaded! Snakes don't talk! Something was up. But she thought she could handle it, and didn't think she needed protection. After all, she was as smart as Adam, and perfectly capable. Or was she?

And where was Adam? Was he being the companion to his wife that she needed? Was he protecting her, and being intimate with her in fellowship, instructing her and explaining all he knew about God's instruction. He should have stepped up! He should have known that she was vulnerable and easily deceived. If he had taken the time to really KNOW her, he would have figured that out.

I know this is speculative. However, I believe that God holds Adam responsible for a reason. Just as the wives and children of Daniel's accusers were thrown to the lions alongside their husbands/fathers, and just as Achan's family was cremated right along with him, God sees the family as a unit, and the husband as the responsible head.

Some applications:

1. Marriage is God's ordinance, not man's invention.
2. Marriage is a heterosexual union.
3. Man is the head of the home. (Genesis 2:18; 21 cf. Ephesians 5:22-23)
4. Marriage is a union for two believers. Do NOT be unequally yoked. (2 Cor. 6:14-18)
5. Sexual intercourse is great, but only within the marriage union. (1 Cor.7)
6. Women are not permitted to be in authority as a pastor. (1 Tim. 2:13ff)
7. Divorce is the result of sin. (Matthew 19:4-9)

So, husbands and wives, spend time together. Cultivate common interests. Practice the roles God has called you to, by letting your husband lead or your wife follow. Men, you are called to be leaders! Wives, you are called to be helpers. Do so, to the glory of God.

Husbands ought to be protecting their wives. This is important even within the family context. If a child is rude to his mother, the dad should be all over that with shock and awe! Protect her, and she will feel loved.

Work at intimacy by being vulnerable. Share intimately, and keep no secrets.

Companionship means working together on the house and property. Plenty of shoulder to shoulder time, subduing the earth and making it reflect the glory of God builds a sense of teamwork!

It's a mystery that Adam, created in the image of God, sinned in the first place. We have inherited that sin nature, but God calls us to be holy, as He is holy. One way we can do that is by determining that, with the Lord's help, our marriages will bring glory to God.

Saturday Sushi

Matt and Joanna and Kaleb and Kaitlyn came for a visit today. They arrived in time for brunch, which was a true family affair. Linda made gluten-free waffles. Jared peeled and fried potatoes. Tiana set the table. Elena peeled onions. Patrick made a bunch of scrambled eggs. Daniel made tea and coffee. Christopher ran errands. And I took Linda's waffle batter and Elena's onions, and transformed them into onion rings that were truly yummy!

After brunch, we sat and chatted, dreaming about a patio and courtyard (Janet's dream) complete with a stone wall, or about a humongous deck (Rick's dream, remember?), and asking Matt what he thought about the whole idea. That got us to talking about Courtyards in Roman times, then about villas with gardens in the center of the home. We began designing a home, just for fun.

By then the rain had stopped and all the big people (except for pregnant Joanna and busy me) headed outside to do more yard work. Joanna cleaned my kitchen then went for a little nap, and I finished designing my dream house. The afternoon flew by with a million little tasks occupying my time and thoughts, then I got supper ready for the hungry workers.

Rick grilled hamburgers and chicken burgers on the barbecue; we had rice, corn, peas, sliced tomatoes and onions and condiments. Leftover waffles make great hamburger buns for celiacs, we've discovered, and are much better than bread done in the breadmaker. Supper was an enjoyable meal, with all kinds of bantering back and forth as we shared stories and experiences with each other.

Cleaning up took very little time, as I was smart enough to suggest using paper plates for the meal. Matt and Joanna soon left for an evening affair, and I decided to make sushi for tomorrow's lunch. I had the seaweed paper and lots of leftover sticky rice. We boiled a few asparagus stalks, and I opened a can of wild salmon. We cut up a few cherry tomatoes, and used up some leftover corn.

Here are the results:



They aren't perfect. Some are bigger than others. Corn is not usually an ingredient in sushi, as far as I know. But they taste good, and Linda whipped up six different dips to use, both for the sushi and for the veggie trays we'll have with them.

Now, I know my husband won't like them. He may force himself to taste one or two, but fiddly little things wrapped in seaweed won't impress him much. That's why I will make him a sandwich to eat for lunch tomorrow, before we sit through three hours of grueling instruction in Old Testament Biblical Theology!

Life is a bit like sushi: a lot of rice with some strange and wonderful additions, all wrapped up in seaweed. Rice is kind of mundane and plain, like the normal, everyday tasks we do, over and over again. They are a necessary part of life. The strange and wonderful additions add colour to our lives, much like the pink salmon, the yellow corn, the green asparagus, and the red tomatoes. Our lives are filled with holy interruptions - sometimes joyful, sometimes painful, but all designed to nourish us in our spiritual growth. The seaweed wrapped about the sushi reminds me of God, Who surrounds us every day with His grace and wisdom. He is what holds it all together!

Colossians 1:15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

Tractor Driver Daddy

I thought you might be interested in this picture, as an addendum to my last post. Rick loves his little tractor, and uses it for all sorts of jobs. Here he is hauling some debris away to be burned.

I think men are happiest when they have land and the tools necessary to subdue their domain. This tractor has been a great tool in Rick's hands! He has piled manure, moved snow, dug holes, filled holes, weeded my flower bed, moved debris, flattened the driveway, moved garbage, loaded the bin with garbage, and done many other things!

Gardening a la Tractor-Driver!

Rick and I often disagree on things. It seems to me that he does it just to bug me. One of the things we have been discussing lately is whether we want a deck or a patio in the front of our house. We have a flower bed, and a pond, and a small patio, but it's simply not big enough when the married children and grandchildren come for a visit. We spend a lot of time on the patio, or sitting around the little fire pit that we have out there. I envision a stone or cement patio, with a rock wall enclosure. I like privacy. I like stone. I want a Roman statue and plenty of room for patio chairs, barbecue, etc. My bricklayer son can build me a wall. I want to incorporate the flowerbed and pond into the enclosure. I'd even like a wrought-iron gate.

My husband, however, wants to build a deck. Out of wood. He LIKES wood. I point out that the deck will require far more maintenance than a patio, especially a cement patio, which can be washed with our pressure-washer.

Anyway, on we go, discussing the merits and detriments of each. I don't know what we'll end up with.

We sat outside today, thinking about all this, then I mentioned that I wanted to finish weeding the flowerbed around the pond. Rick suggested getting some good dirt from the well-rotted manure pile. I said, "Not yet...I have to dig out weeds first."

The next thing I knew, Rick came chugging along with the bucket of the tractor filled with dirt. I looked at him blankly...what was he going to do with that? NOT pour it on the flower-bed. I still wasn't done with the weeds.

Then he suggested digging out the flowerbed with the bucket of the tractor. "What about my tulips and the perennials?" I wailed.

"They'll be fine," he assured me.

So, the next thing I knew, Rick dug away with the bucket. What would have been hours of work took about an hour. He dug out buckets full of dirt, and we went through them, picking out clumps of weeds and rescuing anything that looked promising. In a short while, we had much better soil in the garden, weed-free for the most part. We planted the bulbs and any perennials that we rescued, and went in for supper, satisfied.

My point is this: Sometimes what seems like a hare-brained scheme is actually a good idea. I have learned to ponder what Rick suggests, and have found that he often comes up with a better and faster way to do a job than I would have done.

It will be interesting to see if any of the tulips and crocuses survive their rude transplant. But even if they don't, I can soon get some petunias and a few more perennials, and we'll enjoy the colour show.

The best part is that the garden is weed-free. I can't complain. In fact, I am rejoicing. God has given me exactly the person I need. We don't see eye-to eye very often on all the little details of life, but when it comes to what REALLY matters, we're a team.

What really mattered today wasn't our method of gardening, or the discussion about deck vs patio. What really mattered was that we worked together, loving each other, serving each other, setting a good example for our children, and glorifying God in the process.

Bell Boys (and a girl!)

Today, Rachel brought her children to "Granny's house" while dh was on the truck. Matthew, 8 months yesterday, had fun sitting in our little sink for a bit. He then played happily on the floor with his twin sister, Heidi, while big brother Trenton copied a Psalm with Uncle Christopher.


Meanwhile, three-year-old Stewie busied himself playing "checkers", or a form thereof, and waiting for Auntie Linda to make lunch. Apparently the very early rising of the Bell family this morning was too much for Stewart to handle. This is what he looked like when he was eating his lunch:
Aunt Linda took pity on him, and came to his rescue, helping him eat the rest of his food before he went off to Dreamland.

And just one more picture for good measure, before I go and join Sleepy Stewie in a good night's sleep:



Now you know why I call my blog "Grannymom's Spot"! Grandkids are great!

Spring Yard Work

We have been fighting some kind of 'flu bug, so we decided not to go to church today. After a lazy morning, we went outside and did a few jobs. It was a beautiful spring day, just warm enough to be pleasant, and just breezy enough that we couldn't keep a fire going.


Patrick trimmed the lower branches from the trees and bushes next to the parking area. Rick assembled a barbecue. Linda raked and cleaned up the pasture. The girls and Christopher ran errands. I raked up the debris from Patrick's tree-trimming, and Daniel ran the tractor and assisted Rick. Jared moved the logs from the van to the side of the house. We all kept busy!

It was very satisfying to be out in the sunshine, and even though we only worked a couple of hours, it was enough to make us feel like we accomplished a lot!

I have never considered yard work with the family as a chore, so much as a fun family activity. It was a joy to be out there, working together. When we were finished hauling away all the branches, we enjoyed a steak dinner, cooked on the barbecue.

What simple pleasure there is in just being together, working and playing and laughing and loving as a family! By the time we went in for supper, we all were feeling better. Maybe we have finally shaken the 'flu bug.

This is the day that the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it!

Candle Giveaway

Shari U is raising money for a future adoption! In order to do so, she has a button about Virginia Candles on her website, and she is giving a candle away.

You can visit and enter here: http://makingahouseahome.blogspot.com/